How To Be More Happy – Part 2
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
This article is in two parts, you can read part one here: http://happynaturallife.com/2011/05/how-to-be-more-happy/
How to be more happy? Know yourself!
From our first experiences in life, beliefs are programmed.
When we are born we are like a “new computer". We don't need to learn how to be more happy, we are happy. All we need is in the "start up-program". We are satisfied as long as our main needs are filled. From our first experiences in life, beliefs are programmed. Every situation, word and interpretation of events when we are young affects and forms our beliefs. When we are young our mind is very easily manipulated, therefore children takes every belief on board - whether it be good or bad. This includes all beliefs about self confidence, self worth, life potential, goals, ambitions, environment, other people and the like.
Beliefs are simply thoughts which are being repeated and placed in the subconscious mind. They don't even need to be repeated - traumatic experiences or just a few words can be burned into the mind for ever. Even if we don’t remember anything from our first years – it is all there, programmed in our subconscious mind.
Some of us get a good start with good programs and others are not so lucky and get bad programs with a lot of "virus". Even if the first 6 - 7 years of our life are the most important, the programming continues all life. Some of our life experiences will never be “saved”. We simply forget about it while other episodes in our life, both bad and good ones, are “burned” into our brain. Most of us don't know how to be more happy.
3 experiences that made me to who I am today.
At the age of 13 one of my friends one day told me at school that I had bad breath. (I can see in my mind the exact place where this happened today). Those words were burned into my mind in the moment they were told and are still there. Because of those words I stopped going out with friends, I avoided other people if I could and I always found excuses for not going to parties. I lived a life on my own with my dog and my horse until I was nearly 20. Even after that I was mostly alone. I was totally convinced that I had constant bad breath. 19 years old I had my tonsils removed because I was sure they were the reason, but it did not change anything. I continued to worry about my breath. Even after a 15 year long relationship where my partner told me every day that I did not have bad breath, it still makes me feel uncomfortable if a person is too close to me. Normally people don't react like I did, my reaction was caused by beliefs I had got earlier in life. Still today I avoid parties if I can. I imagine that people look at me as "different" and it makes me feel left out. It is obvious that we need to reprogram and learn how to be more happy.
The other thing that had a big impact on my life was my mother’s death; she killed herself when I was 19. It was a shock and it made me angry and scared. I started to believe that I would end up like my mother. We have a saying that says "mother like daughter". I was sure it was in my genes and I could do nothing about it. I tried to tell myself that I was not like her but my "inner-saboteur" was always there telling me that it was not true. It is normal to have days when you feel down but it is probably not normal to think you will end up killing yourself because your mother did it.
25 years old I found some old papers and read that I was going to be adopted away as soon as I was born. My mother did not want me and she must have hated me all the time when she was pregnant too.
Those 3 episodes were programmed into my mind and formed me to a person with almost no self esteem. How could anybody love a person like me? I have forgiven my mother, she wanted to be happy too but unfortunately she did not know how to be more happy, she did not get the help she needed.
I have a lot to be grateful for.
I was lucky after all, it could have been much worse. My grandmother did not approve my mother’s wish to give me away and she took care of me after I was born; and after a while my mother took me “home”. My grandmother had a heart filled with love and she loved me all her life. Thanks to her and my grandfather and also my father (who was not my father after all – found out when I was 15) and my dear animals I also got a lot of good programming that made up or balanced the bad programming.
I am also lucky to have two wonderful children; they support me in all my “crazy ideas” and really help me feel that I am good enough. Not to forget my dear dogs Hector and Jerry, two big grey, skinny loving dogs. I am not sure I would have made this without them. They fill my heart with love and keep me fit by taking me for long walks in the woods every day.
At the age of 36 I found my biological father, he loved me from the first moment and I am so grateful that I got to know him before he died a few years later. Actually I got a whole new and loving family but I had problems and still have, to keep the contact after my father died.
I spent a lot of time out in the woods alone or with my animals and started to love the nature and the wild life, something that I am very grateful for today.
I could make the list of positive things in my life a lot longer...
When you change your beliefs, you will change your life.
I had no knowledge about how my brain worked or how to be more happy. I had accepted it as a truth that this was me and nothing could change it. The moment I realized that this was not true was like been given a new life. The good thing is that scientists have found that we can re-program our brain, replace old thinking habits with new and better. We have all heard the saying “change your thought – change your life” – this is so true. We just need to learn how to do it and put some time and effort into it. I know it works because I have been working hard with myself and can see improvements already.
How to be more happy - be yourself and be happy, never stop dreaming!
When I started my blog Happy Natural life it was no problem to make my own quote or motto, “be yourself and be happy, never stop dreaming”. I have always been a "dreamer". And I don't think it is possible to be happy if you can't be yourself. I remind myself of this phrase as often as I can and I write it in all my blog posts. It's re-programming - it does not need to be more complicated than that. If I fall into some of the old thought patterns I am aware of it now and try to turn it into something positive. It does not work every time but I'm doing better day by day. When you know what the problem is; it is possible to do something about it.
Lately I have noticed that my “inner saboteur” seems to give up a lot faster than before. The new program has started to take over. Deep inside I have this new voice that comforts me and tells me that I will do fine. And I believe it. This is the result of all the time I have spent the last half year reading and trying to understand how the mind works, trying to find and like myself better. It is not easy to be yourself or love yourself if you don't know who you are.
You can heal your life - start loving yourself
Louise Hay has been a great help for so many people, myself included. I have watched most of her videos and her book “You can heal your life” is probably the most important book I have ever read. I found it in a second hand shop here in Norway; the prize was less than $2. I was not going to buy a book that day, I just wanted to have a look around – I love books. I guess it was thousands of books in the room, from floor to roof on all walls, and my eyes fell on that one book. I took it down and paid for it as the most natural thing to do. Today I know that book was brought to me because I needed it – a little miracle in my life. I read it for the first time 14 days after I got it – on another day when my inner-saboteur made my life hard. I read all 233 pages without a pause. I felt newborn when I finished, I smiled and felt happy. This book is now an important part of my “re-programming”. It works so much better than any “happy pill”. It gives me a real dose of self esteem and makes me feel that I am good enough. My inner-saboteur has no chance when I start reading it. You can buy the book or the film "You can heal your life HERE!
I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit." ~Dawna Markova
Despite of all the positive things in my life the fact is that the negative programming from early in my life has been dominating my life. From now on this is going to change. I am about to take control of my own life. I have found out how to be more happy, I can simply chose to be more happy.
I truly hope that my story will give hope to other people that struggle with depression and low self-esteem. It is never too late for a new beginning. Make today the start of your new and happier life. To Learn more about how to be more happy - go HERE . You have an ocean of great resources to help you to be yourself and be happy! Let today be the first day of a happier life.
This article is about how Happy Natural Life started: http://happynaturallife.com/2010/12/be-yourself-and-be-happy-part-1/
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Article 1 - how to be more happy