How To Be More Happy
Be yourself and be happy! Never stop dreaming ~ Kristin
How to be more happy with yourself and others!
This is a very personal article; I have spent many hours writing it and even more hours wondering if I should post in on my blog or not. As you can see I chose to post it. It’s scary but also feels good, after all my motto is to be myself.
In this article I will share some of my life experience – thoughts about happiness, unhappiness and dreams. Why do so many people struggle to find inner peace and happiness? Can we learn how to be more happy?
I did a Google search, typed in “I want to be happy” and Google came up with 904 000 000 pages - the numbers speak for themselves. We all want happiness.
I decided to make this article a few days ago. I had one of those “poor me, I feel so sorry for myself, everything is hopeless days“ again. My “inner saboteur” took control over “my mind” in a weak moment. You know that voice inside your head that tries to convince you that “you can’t do this or that – you are hopeless and no one likes you – you will never change…” I simply lost control over my emotions and my thoughts again. This has been my main problem all my life. I have been controlled by my emotions and I have lacked self esteem and inner peace.
But I have found a way to handle these situations better now, they don’t scare me any longer and they happen less frequently than before. And when I have a bad day like this it often lasts only a few hours, compared to before when it could take days before I managed to "pull myself together". So when I felt better I got this idea that maybe my experience can help and motivate others that struggle with problems and give them hope. We all want to find out how to be more happy in life. And when a “hopeless case” as me can manage to change it is hope for everyone. Writing this is also great self therapy.
I am not an expert on mental health but I have lived for 52 years and have some experience as I have struggled with my nerves in periods throughout life. I did not know it was possible to change as I had a belief, and also was told by others, that it was all in my genes as my mother also had mental problems. So in a way I resigned and accepted that this was my life, I was like my mother and I would probably end like her too; I didn’t know better. In periods I was so tired of life – and I hated myself because I felt like that. I had all I needed but still I was not happy. Something inside me was missing. I did not have contact with my inner self – had never had peace in my mind. I never really knew what I wanted to do and I was so afraid to end up like my mother. I simply did not know that how to be more happy.
I had thoughts about ending it all, and have been close to doing it too. Most people are scared of getting cancer - I wished I could get it, would make it easier if I didn’t have to do it myself. My life has been like a roller coaster with ups and downs. I had long periods when I felt some kind of happiness and life was good too. But I was so vulnerable; sometimes just a “wrong word” could take me down and then all those dark thought were back. But I was good at hiding it; most people did not know I had these problems.
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers” ~ M. Scott Peck
How to be happy with yourself - Love yourself!
Today so much has changed. I had to look inside myself to find the answers. I left a man after 15 years. It took me 14 years to understand that he really loved me, and when I finally understood it was too late. To leave him and to see how much I hurt him is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I had no choice. As long as you are not in peace with yourself it is hard to be happy and even harder to make another person happy.
I have heard the saying “you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself” so many times in my life, but have never understood the true meaning. And still I’m not sure I do understand it fully. I feel I have “loved” so much in my life, but maybe it has been an egoistic sort of love; not unconditional love.
The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well” ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
The awakening - who are you?
I have always had a tendency to over react in situations where feelings are involved. Also when it has been happy feelings, I cry easily both when I am sad and when I am happy. Because I have identified myself with my thoughts and never really knew who I am I have been a slave to the circumstances and had no power over my own future.
Around 18 months ago faith came into my life, put me on a real hard test, I was close to taking my own life. The story is too long to tell here, I will save it for the book I have decided I will write one day. If you are interested you can read my first blog posts http://happynaturallife.com/2010/12/be-yourself-and-be-happy-part-1/ as it will tell you a little about my “awakening”.
My life was not meant to end at the age of 51. Suddenly I understood that I and no one else could help me with my life. I was not my mother and would never be. I was ME and free to do what I wanted with my life. I had a free will. I was responsible for my own happiness. I had to find out how to be more happy.
To suddenly wake up and understand that I was free to do whatever I wanted gave me so much hope and a wish to live I have never had before. But it did not mean that I was healed. I had to work hard with myself and I still have a way to go. Each time I have one of my “bad days” I try to look at is as a way to understand myself better and I feel I am growing stronger for each time.
Reprogramming the mind.
I started to look for information about self improvement, I read books, listened for hours to CD’s and audios to learn and understand how the mind works. It is so interesting and so amazing – I love to read and learn about this and it has made me see clearly why my life has been as it has. After 52 years I finally understood why I had so many problems. My brain had been programmed with the wrong “programs”or beliefs and it was infected by “virus”. The good news is; it’s possible to reprogram your mind. Had I only known this before!
Part to of how to be more happy is about “how you can re-program your mind. How a few words when I was 13 changed my life and more… Go here to read it --->How to be more happy - part 2 -
How to be more happy - great resources to help you:
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You can never re-create the past, of course. But you can shape your own future.” ~ Dennis Fairchild
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Article 1 - how to be more happy